


The Queen Who Never Was

by eleventyseven



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rhaegar Won, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, R Plus L Equals J
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:25:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleventyseven/pseuds/eleventyseven
Summary: The life of Rhaenys Targaryen, told through her most important memories.





	The Queen Who Never Was

_283 AC_

I looked around, and I seemed to be significantly shorter than everyone else in this room. Somehow I knew this was the Red Keep, and I looked in front of me and saw the Iron Throne. I felt someone's hand on my back, urging me forward. I took a few steps, and looked up to see who was pushing me. My father looked at me, his violet eyes piercing into mine. Out of instinct I smiled back, and felt affection blossom within me.

We stopped in front of the Iron Throne, and a man was sitting on it. He had a long face, and the same platinum hair as the man next to me. On his head sat a golden crown with jewels laid in it. Next to him stood a pregnant woman with the same hair, and a kind face. I felt out of place with all these fair-skinned blonde people, and looked at my feet.

The pregnant woman with the kind face walked close to me, and kneeled down, giving me a gentle hug. When she pulled back I could see that she had sad eyes.

"I'm your grandmother, Queen Rhaella" She said, and I smiled softly at her, curtsying the way my mother and father had taught me just a few days prior.

She turned around and walked back to stand next to the throne, and the man sitting upon it had a frown on his face. He glared at me, and before I knew what was happening he spit at my feet, making a disgusted face.

"She smells Dornish!" He exclaimed before standing up and storming out. The kind man next to me bent down and picked me up, holding me close to him. I realized that I had begun crying sometime in this whole exchange, and I buried my face in my father's shoulder as he rubbed my back gently, and exchanged quiet words with the woman who called herself my grandmother.

_285 AC_

Somehow I could tell that I was dreaming. The place I was in was unfamiliar, and I could feel the cold bite of the air. I looked down at my bare feet, and wiggled my toes, watching them move in the snow. I'd never felt snow before, but I think that I liked it. 

I walked forward slowly, taking in my surroundings. I was surrounded by trees, and before long I found myself in front of the biggest tree. It was a face, and it looked like tears were coming out of its eyes. I tried to reach up and grab one of the red leaves, but I was too short. 

I watched as a wolf emerged, and it looked like it was hunting something. The wolf was huge, with fur grey like smoke and eyes like gold. It seemed to finally find what it was searching for, and darted forward. Out from a bush flew a baby dragon, no larger than a cat. Its scales were ivory and its eyes were gold, almost like it matched the wolf. 

I ran forward to try and save the dragon, but the wolf was quicker than me, and snapped at its tail. The dragon let out an annoyed noise, and they continued on. 

They were still fighting but my feet carried me closer. They finally seemed to notice me, and the wolf growled, but I didn't feel scared. I reached out, and the wolf bit me. I reached for the dragon but it opened its mouth, and fire shot out at me. I woke with a start. 

I sat up, and realized that I had screamed when I woke. Someone ran into my room, and I recognized Ser Barristan. He was one of my favorite guards, because he always played games with me and told the best stories. 

"Princess?" He asked, and I looked at him, my eyes shining with tears. 

"I had a dream," I said, my eyes shining with tears, "I thought it was a good dream but then it turned into a bad one." 

He said something to another guard, then sat next to me on the bed. He wiped the tears from my cheeks, and spoke gently, "A lot of Targaryens have these dreams, princess. They're called dragon dreams, and they're supposed to mean something." 

"Does it mean that a dragon is going to kill me?" I asked, and he looked concerned, but shook his head. 

"Usually it's more symbolic than that," He explained, and I tilted my head to the side. 

"What's symbolic mean?" I asked 

"It means... A symbol is something that represents something else. Like how in the Great Sept of Baelor, the statue of the mother is a symbol of well, the mother's mercy," Ser Barristan said, and I nodded slowly. 

"What's this I hear about nightmares?" Someone said from my doorway, and I looked over. 

My mother walked into the room, and after her came in my father. I held out my arms and my mother hugged me tightly, while my father sat on the bed in front of me. 

"Thank you, Ser Barristan," My father said. 

"Of course, your grace," Ser Barristan gave a short bow, and left the room. 

"You had a bad dream?" My mother asked softly, and I nodded. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" My father asked, grabbing my hand and kissing it softly. 

"Well, I... There was a wolf. But a really really big one, and it was in a forest. And it was fighting with a dragon. I could tell that the dragon was mine- I could feel it," I said, feeling frustrated at how silly it sounded, "But the dragon and the wolf were both mad at me, and they killed me." 

My mother made a soft noise of distress, and pulled me back into a hug, her hand stroking my hair softly. My tears had mostly stopped at this point, and I was grateful. 

"Did it feel different than a regular dream?" My father asked, and I nodded softly. 

"Is this a dragon dream, like Set Barristan said?" I asked quietly, and my parents looked at each other. 

"Maybe so," My father said, "Why don't you try to go back to sleep?" 

I didn't want to, but my mother laid down next to me. My father walked around the bed and laid down on my other side, pulling me between them. My bed was more than big enough for all three of us. 

"Where's Balerion?" I asked. My little black cat was the only pet I ever wanted from here on out. 

"I think he's sleeping in the gardens, my sweet," My mother said softly. 

I frowned and almost felt like I would cry again, but I didn't want to cry anymore. I wasn't a baby, I was five, and I was old enough to stop crying. 

"I don't want you to be afraid of dragons," My father said, taking my hand in his. 

"I'm not," I insisted, even though I wasn't sure, "It doesn't matter anyway, since there are no dragons left." 

"Yes there are," My father insisted, "You, me, and Daenerys." 

I smiled in spite of my mood, and blinked up at him, "Was Aegon a dragon too? and Viserys?" 

I never met Dany's brother, only heard of him. But I remembered my own brother. Pale and mewling, with my father's purple eyes and platinum hair. 

My mother caressed my face softly, and I wasn't sure if it was just the darkness but it looked like she had tears in her eyes. 

"Yes, they were dragons too," My father said softly, his voice sounding slightly strained. 

The three of us laid in silence, and I laid my head against my father's arm as my mother began stroking my hair again. 

I wondered how people could also be dragons, but then remembered what Ser Barristan said about symbols. The Targeryens were symbols of dragons, then. Maybe since my family had been the only family who ever owned dragons. 

"Can you sing me a lullaby?" I asked, looking up at my dad, then to my mom. 

"Of course, my sweet," My mother said, and my father nodded in agreement. I loved it when either of them sang to me, but it was the best when they sang together. 

In unison they began singing, and it lulled me off to sleep. 

"Hush now, my baby, the daylight is done, Your scales catching moonlight instead of the sun, So lay down your head, till the dawn comes anew, For here there be dragons to watch over you. 

Dream now, my baby, of life in the clouds, Your head held so high and your wings spread so proud, For I know a secret I promise is true, Here there be dragons, and one of them's you." 

_287 AC_

I stepped out of the carriage carefully, a servant girl holding my hand to help me down the steps. My feet landed in the snow, and the sensation felt familiar even though I'd never seen snow before. The edges of my blue dress just barely brushing the ground as I walked forward to stand next to my father. 

My father had always been a kind man, but his presence as king always commanded respect. The Northerners knelt in front of us, and I suddenly felt like this was very different than any other trip he'd taken me on, especially since my mother had refused to come. 

My father walked forward but I stayed where I was, watching the tense exchange. My father gestured for everyone to stand, and they did. 

"Your Grace," Lord Stark greeted, his head bowed. 

"May I introduce Princess Rhaenys Targaryen," My father said, and I look up at Lord Stark. 

"Pleased to meet you," I said, smiling softly. I knew that if my mother had been here she'd be proud of me for being so polite. 

"Please, introduce us to your family," My father said, and beckoned me forward. I walked hesitantly, and once I was at his side Lord Stark began. 

"My lady wife, Catelyn Stark," He said, gesturing to the woman next to him. She had the beginnings of lines on her face but was still very beautiful. In her arms was a little baby with a head full of red hair, "She's holding Sansa, our youngest." 

"My son and oldest, Robb," He finished, and my attention turned to the boy. He could only be a year or two younger than me, already tall for his age. Our eyes met and I was startled by his soft blue-grey eyes that matched his auburn-or was it brown?- hair perfectly. 

"And the boy?" My father asked, and I looked at him curiously. 

"Jon Snow," Lord Stark said, and my attention was drawn to the boy standing next to Robb. He had curly hair like Robb did, but it was black, and flowed more freely. His eyes were dark, too, and stood out against his lily-white skin. 

My father walked over to him, and I wasn't sure if I should follow or not, so I stayed standing where I was. 

"Come on, son," My father said, putting a hand on Jon's shoulder, "We need to talk." 

I watched as my father and the boy walked away from the crowd, and I was left standing there, looking around in confusion. 

"Would you like to come play with me?" Robb asked me suddenly, and my eyes turned to him as my mood suddenly shifted. 

I opened my mouth to answer, but was quickly ushered away by servants and guards who wanted to get me bathed and changed in time for lunch. 

My disappointment was immeasurable, and I turned and looked at Robb apologetically, before turning back and following the servants. _291 AC_

I stepped forward carefully, glancing around at the commoners that littered the streets. Being out here alone wasn't the smartest move, but I did it frequently enough to where I wasn't worried much anymore. I was just outside the castle walls, but still in the capitol. I began to walk away, my destination at the forefront of my mind.

Suddenly a hand gripped my shoulder and I gasped, turning around and shoving my hand forward to push them away. My hand collided with armor, and I hissed in pain, pulling it away as I looked at up the face of the person who had disturbed me.

"Ser Jaime," I said, breathing a sigh on relief, cradling my hand to my chest.

"Princess Rhaenys," He said, his eyes narrowed knowingly, "You're not as sneaky as you'd like to think you are."

I rolled my eyes, and then looked at him pleadingly, "Please don't make me go back. I was just going to go visit the orphanage!"

"You know that I have to bring you home," He said gently, and grabbed my arm to escort me. My shoulders slumped with disappointment but I listened, following him.

"They're trying to pick a husband for me," I said, my nose crinkling in disgust, "Father says that I need to start thinking about suitors, since I'm eleven now, but I don't care what he says."

"Its part of a princess's job to get married, to help secure alliances for the crown," He explained, and I walked quicker, as if I could outrun the truth.

"No, they want me to get married to have an heir," I said, kicking a rock, "Since Aegon and Uncle Viserys died as children in the Sack of King's Landing, and my mother can't have anymore children, they have no male heirs. They want to marry to off, have my lord husband stick a son in me, and take him once he's born to raise him in this shithole."

"A lot of girls your age would be happy to know that their son would be king one day," Jaime said as we approached a back entrance to the Red Keep. We were let in, but we still had to walk through the gardens to get back to my room. He didn't scold me for cursing- he was one of the only people who never did.

"A lot of girls are stupid," I said, then stopped and looked up at him, "Did you know I had an ancestor named Rhaenys who was in a very similar situation? A lot of people thought she should be queen, but they chose a male cousin instead. She's now called The Queen Who Never Was."

Jaime's eyes examined my face carefully, and I pressed my lips together, looking away quickly.

"Do you think that you should be queen?" He asked, and I shrugged, beginning to walk again, but slower this time.

"I don't know. What if I wanted to be?" I said as we reached the gardens, "If my Uncle Viserys would've lived, I probably would have married him and been queen anyway."

He stayed silent, and I looked over at him, "You know, I overheard my parents arguing that I should be married to father's bastard in the North. Father wants to legitimize him and make him king."

I suddenly realized that maybe that was a secret I wasn't supposed to share. I wasn't supposed to know about it in the first place, but I had a habit of listening in on conversations I wasn't supposed to hear.

"Is that what you want?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Is it okay that I don't know what I want?" I asked, and stopped again. I took a seat on one of the benches, and grabbed a flower, examining it carefully, "All my life I've been told where to go, when to smile, how to dress- I don't think I would even know how to know what I wanted."

Jaime looked amused, and sat next to me.

"Listen to me, raving on about this. I must sound mad," I said, placing the flower in my hair, "Maybe this is the beginnings of Targaryen madness taking hold."

"Don't say that," Jaime said seriously, narrowing his eyes at me, "Don't ever make a comment like that out loud again."

I looked around, and it seemed like we were alone, but I knew he was right. There were ears everywhere here, and a rumor like that could ruin my life.

"Maybe Daenerys will get married and they can use her son as an heir," I said grumpily, changing the subject. My aunt had lived with us since I was a girl. I'd heard the story before- My grandmother had fled to Dragonstone during the Sack of King's Landing, after my Uncle Viserys died. where she died giving birth to Dany. Dany was taken to Essos by a family friend. She was returned less than a year later, and my parents had raised her since. 

I never called her Aunt Daenerys- that would be weird. I was older than her, and she was more like a sister anyways.

"Maybe they will," Jaime humored me, but we both knew how unlikely it was.

"I don't think I'd want to be queen," I said, "Too much pressure. Why can't I just meet a kind, handsome boy and get married for love?"

"You're too smart for your age, so you know the answer. It's because you're a princess," He explained, but I wasn't satisfied with that answer. What if I didn't want to be that either? What if I just wanted to... live life like a normal person and make my own choices for once?

_294 AC_

I stared down at the lifeless body of my mother, and reached out for her hand. I was shocked by how cold and stiff it was, and pulled my hand back quickly. She was wearing her favorite dress- a traditional Dornish satin gown, thin and dyed bright orange. Her hair was curled, as it had been while she was living. But despite there being so many similarities, she seemed unrecognizable.

"What's going to happen to her?" I asked, tears welling in my eyes as I looked between my Uncle Oberyn and my father.

"She'll be cremated, as is tradition for Targaryens and their spouses. But your uncle will take her ashes back to Dorne, and spread them in the Water Gardens, as was her wish," My father said softly. His pale skin made the dark bags under his eyes stand out.

"I want to come with you," I said, turning to my uncle. He opened his mouth to respond, but was stopped.

"You're not leaving the capitol," My father said, his eyes still on my mother's face, which had begun to sink in.

I started at him disbelievingly. My tears flowed freely down my face, and I felt anger rise within me.

"You're not allowing me to accompany Uncle Oberyn to lay my mother's ashes to rest?" I said, my voice dangerously low.

"Rheagar-" Uncle Oberyn began, but my father stopped him.

"The answer is no," My father said shortly.

"Is that an order, your grace?" I asked, my shoulder set back, and my voice raised.

My father and I usually got along, as long as we avoided the topic of my getting married. But when we argued, the tension in the air was so thick that you probably could've sliced through it with a sword.

My father took a few steps forward and towered over me. I had inherited my mother's short height, but I refused to be intimidated.

"Do not test me," He said, "Not today."

I turned around and stormed out of the Sept, wiping the tears from my eyes. Two guards quickly followed as I began down the steps, heading back to the Red Keep.

"Rhaenys!" Uncle Oberyn called behind me, and I turned around. 

He caught up to me quickly, and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I let out a desperate sob and clung to him tightly, mumbling incoherently about how terrible my father was.

One of his hands moved up to stroke my hair softly, and I only cried harder. My mother would do that when I was a girl, to try and get me to sleep. It hit me that she was truly gone. I would never hear her laugh again, or have her help braid my hair. She'd never see me get married or have children. 

I felt like this was a nightmare, and I wished to wake up now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I've been wanting to write about Rhaenys for a long time. If you want more let me know!
> 
> I found the lullaby here: https://tomsmith.bandcamp.com/track/a-dragons-lullaby-2


End file.
